Celibacy and a Spiritual Life

I was prompted to write this page to clear up some misunderstandings surrounding the word as I have heard it used many times by spiritual organisations. It is a matter of constant debate as to whether it is necessary to abstain from sex in order to achieve enlightenment. Some groups state categorically that sex is out; for other groups ritual sex or personal practices are a necessary part of achieving full realisation. There is no common agreement on this matter. However, I am not debating that on this page, I wish to clear up some confusion over the word "celibacy".

I was listening to a lecture one day, and the minister/monk stated:

"Single people should practice celibacy"

Of course, what he meant to say was that single people should not engage in the sexual act with a partner (of same or opposite sex). But he didn't say that, and people like me who actually listen to what people say become annoyed at people beating around the bush and not stating clearly and precisely what they mean.

I also wondered for many years what the difference was between sex with another person and masturbation. Religious people would have you believe that one is evil, and the other is natural and healthy.

A third consideration was a discussion I got into with a lady over one of the basic Buddhist precepts:

"Do not indulge in sexual misconduct"

She believed I was mis-stating the precept, which was to be "celibate" and not engage in sexual activity. The precept is normally stated as given above (though there may be variation between the different Buddhist schools, each claiming to be the purest and most accurate line from the original teaching of Buddha). The issue I again saw arising is that even a simple statement as above is open to interpretation. If a particular teaching does not want the students to engage in sex then the precept should be "do not engage in sex", not "do not indulge in sexual misconduct" because then it is necessary to define what sexual misconduct is. (Incidentally, I understand that the directive with regard to sexual misconduct from the Buddha himself is: "'he does not have intercourse with women who are protected by their mother, father...relatives, who have a husband, who are protected by law, or with those who are garlanded in token of betrothal".)

Clarification

In an attempt to keep this discussion brief, I will get down to business and state my ultimate and final view on these matters. You may have a different view and wish to argue, but I will probably ignore your emails on the subject.

I am not offering an opinion on whether abstinence from any sort of sexual activity (including sexual acts with a partner, personal masturbation, or Tantric practices of any kind) is a requirement for religious enlightenment or moral character. Some religious schools require abstinence, others (such as Tantra and Kundalini Yoga) depend on sexual energy.
The root of the word celibate (as defined by Skeats Etymological dictionary) refers to "one who is single", "pertaining to a single life". The latin root caelebs means single or unmarried. The Oxford dictionary carries a similar meaning. Over time the meaning of words change, and some dictionaries now carry the additional meaning of abstinence from sexual intercourse. This was not the original meaning of the word - it was simply an unmarried state, and does not make any reference to the sexual act. There are plenty of married couples who ceased to have sex a few months after marriage, and there are plenty of people who never marry - why are they denied to right to have sexual intercourse? The statement "single people should practice celibacy" means, according to the Oxford or Skeets dictionaries, that "single people should practice being unmarried" (which of course they are). Celibacy refers to marital status, not to the sexual act.
According to Word connections celibate originally meant healthy, a member of the whole/hale/health family.
Chastity - the dictionary definition is to be clean, pure, modest (from Latin castus = pure). The Oxford dictionary states "abstaining from unlawful or immoral or from all sexual intercourse". Again, there is considerable scope for confusion. A chaste woman may be one that is not a prostitute, does not sleep with the guy next door, but has normal sexual intercourse with her husband. To other people a chaste woman is one who never engage in sex at all. As with the meaning of the word celibacy above, all I ask is that as these words are open to interpretation we come clean and state exactly what we mean. Leaders of religious and spiritual instituations need to state precisely what they mean because otherwise the members of their congregations will be (and are) confused.
Can a "celibate" person, one who is unmarried and not engaging in sexual relationships with other people, masturbate? I have never heard a minister/priest/monk answer this question. So here is my answer. There is no difference between the sexual act with another person, and masturbation. They both result in the same hormonal and energy flows in the body. It is true that sex with another person results in different energy flows and mixing of energies, and in some cases this could be more beneficial to one of the partners. However, if the particular religious path requires celibacy and chastity in the meaning of refraining completely from sexual activity, masturbation is out in the same way that sexual intercourse is out.
The term "sexual misconduct" in the Buddhist precept is worded that way because the instruction is different for different people. For a "lay" person, one of the householder community living a married life, sexual misconduct means refraining from sexual intercourse with anyone other than their marriage partner. A lay man would be breaking this rule by visiting the local brothel. For a monk living with the Buddhist monastery, this rule would preclude having sex with any other person. As to whether it precludes masturbation would depend on the interpretation of the chief Abbot.
Sexual activity is a perfectly normal body function. There is wide variation in the frequency and intensity of sexual activity, and is dependant on age, race, and many other factors. In earlier times where personal hygience was more difficult than today, refraining from sexual contact would have stemmed the spread of diseases, body lice, and noisy distractions for people trying to practice meditation. The Christian Church sought to curtail the power of the Pagan priestesses by requiring an all male heirarchy, and therefore there was no place for priests and ministers to have a wife who could possibly hold the equivalent rank of a priestess. (Of course, we know that church ministers, whilst remaining unmarried, do not necessarily refrain from sexual acts!). Whilst there are always exceptions to the rule, in general if a person refrains completely from sexual activity (including masturbation) their health will suffer - refer pages 68 - 69 of Swami Sri Yukteswar The Holy Science (available from Self-Realisation Fellowship).